My New Best Job: Role Model!
ROLE-MODEL-TRAINING
Giverny (23) and Me
I assume that many of us grown-up
Grayellas ask ourselves the question: What to do with all that you are and all that
you know? Hide it, play it down, toss it aside as an insignificant byproduct of
life with an expiration date? I say: No Way. We need rewards. Now that you've been
on this frightening, horrible, magical, fascinating, beautiful planet for quite
some time you have accumulated so much knowledge, experience and clever
know-how that you burst at the seams. You want to give and share, enlighten and
enrich. You could easily advice the rest of the young and silly world with much
needed stuff. You would almost do it for free. Great! But does anybody give a
hoot about you, the WOMAN WHO KNOWS?
Does anybody listen? As a matter of fact -
yes, some really do. And here come the beautiful news: Young women love older
women! They sometimes look up to (some of) us, full of hope, eager to learn and
to listen - and I for one am delighted, flattered and a bit proud about
becoming what I secretly hoped to become one fine day: A Role Model.
So, Magic still happens here and
there. Three different
young women between 19 and 26 years old in only one week
have declared me a Role Model! And I
admit that these honors make me happier than I thought.
What did I do, you may ask? Nothing
special, just being myself,
maybe being a bit on a roll with my relentless
message of confidence, guts and empowerment I share a little too generously for
some people's taste.
Two Beauties: Mareela (26) left - and Sidney (19)
I'm a storyteller. I like to talk
to people, to all people, especially to
young women. They bring out the
feminist cheerleader in me when I see their fresh faces and sparkly eyes, but
also their worries and insecurities. "Who will I become in this
exceedingly exhausting and demanding world? Will I thrive and survive?"
they wonder. There's quite a bit of internal "homelessness" going on
- it's not only for the poor and downtrodden.
I don't know the whole answer, I
don't know whether they actually
have a harder time than us Boomers had, but I
suspect they do.
I have always had a special
relationship to teenagers - I'm sure it's because that hiding under the lived-in
features and silvery mane I'm still one big insubordinate teenie myself. This
defiant adolescent here got stuck somewhere between 14 and 19. I guess I never
lost touch with that longing to set the world on fire and become the heroine of
my very own fate. I also never totally lost touch with certain insecurities and
sense of wonder about life and fate - and the forever unanswered questions I
still grapple with.
At 19 (in Germany) A young Reporter
Of course, there are also hard
fronts between the generations - maybe need to be. We are the keepers of our
respective fenced gates where other generations are denied entrance. We want to
hold on to our own hard fought for territory where we call the shots, and keep disturbances and
unworthy creatures outside. The steely crowns of knowledge and experience are sometimes
firmly attached to our gray hair, we want to be heard, we want the power. We
deserve it, too.
Yet, I became very soft and
admiring towards young women. They
helped me, too, finding parts of me again,
young parts that had remained unresolved, locked somewhere in a box labeled
"later".
I was once in their shoes (ALL of the sometimes ghastly
collection), too and it isn't really that long a time ago, at least it doesn't
feel that way.
How was I as a young woman? A
loner, all by myself. Me against
the world. Nobody ever told me that I could do
or be anything I wanted. And still, that's what I deep down believed in. It was
the 60s, that lucky and wild period in history where upheaval and rebellion was
as natural (for me at least) as breathing and wearing miniskirts. +++
I had no
female role models, not living ones anyway. My Mom was a stylish beauty,
super-charming and warm-hearted - but a slave to household and husband. Unlike
her I was looking for pioneers and a new territory, I wanted to kick the world's ass and not be
known for being very feminine and pliant!
I loved Rock n Roll, movies and art.
100% foreign - meaning American, English and French, nothing native (German)
really. So, where to turn to for inspiration when you're not even crazy about anything
in your homeland? Not to women or individuals but to a spirit, a feeling, a
generation! Zeitgeist has made me into the woman I am, too.
Me at 68
I've noticed that when I talk to
young women (actually, young men, too) about my past that it's usually the
moment when I get all glittery eyes and speak with infectious and very passionate authority.
I don't want to rave about the good
ol' times of the sixties when everything seemed possible and we were the
luckiest generation that ever set a double-platform shoe on this planet.
Every
generation has its own chance. Admittedly, the many very young women I've met
have their doubts about a safe future filled with chances, adventures and
harmonious, happy lives where everybody finds their place. The world might
still be a playground but the toys are hard, slick and expensive nowadays.
"You give me hope", a 23-year-old
woman told me recently. "I was
a little bit afraid of old age, but not
when I see you. You are so lively, daring, good-looking, self-confident, strong and feminist! (I'm just quoting here, she said that!) If I could be like
you one day I would be really happy!"
I think I blushed, and my eyes got
a little moist at the corners. All the other young women I've talked to over
the years said the same, basically, "you almost seem ageless, like you're
one of us!" Thank you thank you thank you! Couldn't think of a greater
compliment.
I think we older women have
something to offer, and if role models
were ever needed, now is the time - and
we are pretty good ones.
We are their future, they represent
our past. They still wait for theirs; we've been where they are now. So we're
ahead of them.
I had always hoped that all my
experiences, the joys and pains, the discoveries and resolutions - and finally
gaining some wisdom -weren't in vain.
I wish that I/we could parcel what
we know, make it into survival
kits for our young women, our daughters and
friends, granddaughters, troubled teens, well-adjusted young women, too. Giving
it to them as a gift to at least look at - even if they don't totally trust its
wise content - would be a great thing.
Sure, they need to fight their own
battles, yet I think, we belong together, the old, the young, and the
middle-aged. We can dip into each other's pool of experience. If these young
women can get a little glimpse of their future in me - and I can re-discover my
past in them, we're the perfect duo and on to something beautiful.
Thank you, dear young women. You've
made my week, even my
years.
And lemme tell you something I
definitely know better.....Ok, well,
maybe later...run along...
"F#CK BEAUTY DUTY"
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Really enjoyed this post. Thank you.
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