Friday, May 19, 2017

GRAY IN L.A. - The UN-Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Issue for Seniors!

Is this ME? Nope, I hate orange!

"It's almost summer, I think it's time for the Torture-Chamber!" said my friend Gracie who is in her very late sixties (like me) in her most somber tone. Of course, she meant the dressing rooms in any store or boutique that carry bathing suits. We both kind of need a new one but with the worldwide fashion conspiracy against older women and their naked skin, we've been putting it off for years and swam in some plain old leotard without insane accoutrements  - for good reasons. For one thing, modern "old-ladies" swimsuits are breathtakingly ugly and unsexy. (I have written about that sad topic of fashion-neglect for seniors many times
Maybe the Army Look? Noooo, I'm not patriotic!

They come with ruffles, trimmings, little skirts and "tummy-control", industrial underwire and D-cups. I'd rather swim in a "burkini" than donning shrill flowerprint-suits with industrial-strength enforced boob-support that look like they belong to Joan Crawford ca. 1962. There is also the issue of scaring the fish of the oceans and lakes to death - or the guests of a fancy resort pool. We all know about the merciless body-watchers and unwanted wardens of annoying beauty ideals. Which are mostly about age and weight. So we "disturb" the youthful body parade.


My Mom at 36 (1956) in a stretchy swimsuit - and at 49 in Mallorca with a home-made Bikini

My Ass doesn't look like this anymore either......

I was never into formal bathing suits because I'm a European hippie at heart and used to swim naked or just in tiny black panties for many decades (that was considered "normal" in many circles). When I needed to cover up while traveling I wore a black bra with it, or sometimes, as a fashion statement, a 40s swimsuit with palm trees on it. That was my uniform til the last 2 seasons. Simple and cheap.

I'm still pretty slim and at a 5.8 height lucky, but had decided that the small bikini-days are over. It was time for "replacement"-therapy. But what kind? A quick look at swimsuit offerings online and then actually going to "Ross" and trying on their wares, was like having an epiphany.
Dressing rooms are constructed by mean, mysogynist profiteers who toy with women's insecurity by adding ugly garments to basically beautiful souls. And here was my special spiritual awakening via the recognition: When you are older your soul outshines your body. Which means: It's time for "soul-dressing"!
Because clothes might cover our bodies but they also reveal our souls. And when you're standing alone in front of the mirror in a fitting room and study your image (men don't do it that way, I'm sure) it isn't just about a search for a fashionable outfit but also unconscious soul searching and a desire for a reflection of your true self.
And here's the truth: Body & Soul are the most important couple in the world - they can never ever be divorced or even separated. They belong together! Looking at your aging body is a good thing. It's a great body because it carries you through your life with great strength and patience and a hefty amount of humor (I hope). You should learn how to look with love in your heart and respect in your eyes at your magnificent workhorse of a body. The soul always wears what suits her (the soul is female, did you know that?) anyway, and what feels good and authentic -  looks good on her (and you!)

I for one am sticking to the past, my personal body history and shameless hippie-approach. I found tres chic leopard print waisted panties and still have a nice black fitted bra. I'm calling the outfit a "Freekini". Voila! Just created a fashion trend. I'm going swimming....

More Photos will Follow - here's an attitude post :-)

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