DO OLD FEMINISTS WIN?
The
Future is Female - Really?
At the Women's March in Los Angeles 2017
There it was again, one of those
earth-shaking not exactly new or surprising articles online. The AgeLab
informed and promised older women like myself that the future will be female.
Just like that. Yeah, no kidding? I'm listening. I'm waiting!
Joseph F. Coughlin, director of the AgeLab at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology even wrote a new book,
“The Longevity Economy: Unlocking the World’s Fastest-Growing, Most
Misunderstood Market.”
He claims that older women are
changing the workplace, mostly because they don't want to retire (sure, they've
been taking care of everything for so long that it would feel
"unnatural" to lazily lean back). They also live longer, are very
experienced and finally more self-assured and ready for another round of real life. Oh, and they get a lot of
divorces after 50, so no one is bothering them with menwhining (my knew word).
I'm not Debbie Downer, for sure,
but I'm not totally buying it. Looking back, I have heard all that before,
starting in the late sixties. Back then it was all about the dynamic, fresh and
fearless, newly emancipated females who would take over the world for sure
because they wore mini-skirts, had jobs and did a lot of shopping. Of course, men
stayed in power - like they always have - and wondered what had gotten into the
all of a sudden feisty females. But they
weren't truly worried, men never are (UNTIL NOW), they'll get over it, these
crazy girls aren't a real threat they thought.
But more women than ever got a
fabulous education and increasingly better jobs - yet somehow remained modest,
flexible and grateful and stayed in the back-row, like they always do.
Another group, the "Women's Liberation"
gang had bigger and more daring ideas and
acted on it. They weren't only fierce self-defenders; they were true
activists who re-introduced themselves as intelligent, sassy, self-aware,
confident women who basically wanted to blow-up the "planet man" with
all the pompous pashas, misogynists and chauvinists, aggressors and egomaniacs
on it. The enemy was caught. Round one of rage. Let it bleed.
Cut to the eighties: All of a
sudden there were women with pussy-bow-blouses and layered hair, with shoulder
pads and pantsuits marching into all offices, ready to really leave their mark
in a men's world. They tried to be outstanding at their job - a balancing act -
since they also didn't want to scare the poor men who still thought that women
should see working as a hobby, not a necessity or personal fulfillment. But the
women were too successful, so all their talent and efficiency were seen as a
threat. The men resorted to the tried-and-true usual bullshit of attacking and
demeaning women. Sexual harassment reared its old and ugly head and was
publicly and privately targeted for the first time. There was some suing by
women going on, a lot of hush-money was doled out, some won in court, most lost
- and silence followed. Money gags outcries.
Accusing them of having lost their
"natural femininity" had its effect, too. Always vulnerable and deeply
insecure, the women had doubts about their own accomplishments, and stepped
back a bit. Why not starting a family, they thought, instead of howling with
the big corporate wolves in the boardroom without being heard? And so they did.
A lot of them.
But some also re-assessed the whole
idea of accepting being a powerless woman in this world and opted for
childlessness and a career matching those of men's. But fear set in, too, the
professional always being the personal as well with women. Aren't we too bold? What
would happen to us if we would lose our traditional ways? The media knew.
Accusations and gleeful predictions were thrown at the sinners like in a
witches' tribunal: Loneliness and bitterness will be the price, as always.
Slowly, feminism and rebellion as a
tool or just an idea was as dead as Birkenstock sandals and seen as outmoded
nonsense that was in stark contrast to the world of shopping, disco, drugs and
hedonism.
The big backlash was on in the 90s,
where feminism was blamed for the ills of the world (including men's discomfort
with strong women); sexual harassment hadn't quit, just like the biggest
inequity scandal till today - lesser pay than the men.
Women became increasingly angry and
frustrated; they were still raising the kids and cleaning house 90%, on top of
holding underpaid exhausting jobs. It didn't seem to go anywhere. Maybe it was exhaustion, maybe disillusion.
New generations of women came, kind
of clueless and without much bite, who had never really heard of the original feminist
struggle - women's uprising in general. That's when the older women of 50 plus finally
spoke up and told their stories of early fights, and wondered what had happened
to their naive daughters and granddaughters. It looked as if they truly believed that they had
everything, they've won all the battles, there was no need to fight and push
and provoke; men had changed, too, was their silly (and incorrect) impression. They'd
got it all wrong, of course. WE knew that. And still do.
And here we are now - old or as
they say, "older", getting upgraded to being the real winners. Is
this a late true victory? A medal that's being pinned on us for bravery and survival
in a basically still sexist, hostile environment run by frightened, often
shoddy perpetrators and patriarchs?
I don't need an
"upgrade", I'm more amused than flattered. I could say, "I told
you so!" I knew we would be the ones having the last laugh - or at least a
chuckle, even scream "victory". But I won't, because the battle is
still raging. And what I truly also know is one thing. What we need for the
future is one creature we either have to dug up in us - if she ever existed -
or invent and fabricate out of sheer conviction and necessity: The Disobedient Woman! She'll
take care of almost everything.
#grayinla #huffpostgrayinla #oldboldchic #californiabaushaus #backgroundsofmylife #lifeinhollywood
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Great post, so true. Thank you.
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